Emo Corner: Jaden Style!
by WilderCapall
Summary: Finally, the main character has found his way to my corner...what will the outcome of this latest insanity be...?  Crack, minor language.


WhiteLadyDragon asked for this one, and I can't refuse even though I don't know exactly how I'm gonna do this one…being a Zaniac, I don't relate to Jaden very well (polar opposites). Well, my brain's gonna explode, but you might get a decent crackfic out of it.

This edition is dedicated to WhiteLadyDragon and Angel Duelist 153.

**Warning:** Do I even have to say it? Crack. Lots of crack.

**Disclaimer:** My brain has exploded. Though I do in fact own a Victory Dragon card, I do not own GX, despite my constant dreams about Zane. :(

**Message:** Everybody wants puppies. Even in pounds, they're basically safe. Adopt an older dog that needs some love, like a retired greyhound. Always go to a shelter; these dogs will love you forever and I promise you'll love them back. Get a shelter-cat while you're at it. I'm going to start doing these messages now.

**Emo Corner: Jaden Style!**

"But everyone keeps calling me a Sue!" Alexis complained, appealing for a stay in my corner; I'd lured Zane out with Pocky, a bus ticket, and a Hot Topic gift card.

"You are a Sue," I said. "Goodbye. Leave on your own or I release the wolves." I had invested in wolves recently—four of them. Alexis left to be replaced by Jaden.

I sighed. He hadn't even appealed; he'd seized the corner and was rocking back and forth in a fetal position.

"Oh, fine," I sighed. "What's your problem?"

"I'm possessed."

"This is an emo corner, not an exorcist. You may want to go somewhere else," I suggested. "I've got like five appointments waiting, including Syrus."

"I killed like half my friends," said Jaden.

"Um…okay…they are back, you know," I said. "I wouldn't know if there are hard feelings; ask them."

"I almost flushed my teacher down the toilet."

"Uh…good for you?"

"I made exploding muffins with Syrus and Zane is gonna kill meeee!"

"Why?" I asked.

"We were at their house; muffin mix coated the walls. I wanna angst now, cuz I'm eighteen and I gotta be _mature_ and realize that dueling for fun is stuuupid. I'm not respecting my friends and _someone's_ gonna make a Kaiser reference cuz _he_ got all emo and nonrespecting at eighteen. I'm just gonna be a big _jerk_ even though my hair looks cooler now. Come to think of it, it actually kinda looks like Sasuke's, which makes some sense of the angst, and why a cockatoo was flirting with me the other day."

I readied a log-catapult in case Sasuke himself showed up. He did not, but I kept the catapult loaded anyway.

"Jaden, I know you have problems, but I've rescheduled Sy's appointment twice already; can you come back later?"

"Nooooooo…" Jaden whined.

"So much for maturity…" I muttered.

"Kick me out and I shall destroy you!" screamed Haou.

"Oh, shut up," I snapped. "Don't make me call Zane and let him sic Cyber End on your ass."

"He's at the mall trying on clothes."

"Damn…hmm…I could ask _Chazz_ to sic _Armed_ Dragon on your ass…but he's pouting…"

"Face it; you cannot beat me! Muha—ha?" he squeaked as my Victory Dragon (courtesy of Shonen Jump) towered over him.

"You were saying?" I asked sweetly.

"Um…nothing…?"

"Good. You have ten minutes; get whatever angst you have built up out by then, because after that I'm booting you no matter what. Syrus is having a nervous breakdown about a certain STUPID KAISER who's half-killed himself for the third time if you count that time with one-exception-to-my-love-of vampires."

"She was uugleee. U-G-L-Y," said Jaden.

"Yes, thank you for killing her," I said. "That's one of the few times I've cheered like crazy for you."

"Is that an insult or a compliment?" he asked.

"I don't know. Seven minutes."

"Damn! Well…my favorite card was evil so I blasted her into space and I also sent my weird drawings and the weird drawings turned into Neospacians and Yubel turned _more_ evil and then I turned all creepy with weird gold eyes and sacrificed and/or killed like half my friends and then Kaiser gave me a pep talk and then he died and Syrus screamed a lot and then I dueled Yubel and I beat her and everyone came back except Kaiser cuz he died but then he showed up washed up on the beach and a week later half-killed himself _again_ and I had to duel with Alexis as a partner and she screamed at me for sacrificing her monster and of course I'm possessed now and my eyes are two different colors and Duel Spirits keep absorbing into me and it's weird!" screamed Jaden/Haou/Judai all in one breath.

I blinked.

"Wow," I said. "Just…wow…and you still have four minutes, I'm scared to say."

"Emma," said Zane, walking in, "you would not _believe_ how crowded Hot Topic was. I was lucky I got there early before all the emo guys showed up; they're all so damn skinny…by the time they left, there _were_ no size 0's."

"You're one to talk," I said. "Those are 0's? They look huge on you."

"Yeah, I think they're supposed to…Syrus is entering hyper-freakout mode, by the way."

"Oh right. Jaden. Out."

"But—"

"Zane?" I asked.

"I'm on it."

Cyber End roared.

Jaden scampered.

END 

Well, that might have bombed, but what do I know? Review please! And to those who didn't like it, I'm sorry! I'm not good with Jaden!


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